Tuesday, October 9

The missing limbs in sleep -
a search for gauze to stifle
the wound.

On the ground floor, the first floor?
Moving down flights of old stairs
at hallway ends -

Open windows like giant frames
of white light, mouths of towers
and I think (in my sleep):
I will write a poem beginnning:

I envy those plants
hanging there, which inhabit
the stair. Which do not
have to remember this place
as a gray mirage.

You, there the whole time,
who I followed between floors.
While you watched, it all ended
the same way I was sleeping. Hand
pressed on cheek, legs bare

and scissored, and what I was saying,
asleep within that dream:
déjame, déjame:
leave me be,
leave me.

1 comment:

umeboshi said...

how beautiful!

i so enjoyed reading this...it's safe to assume this is one of the dreams?

i should like to marry the fourth stanza: the rhyme between "there" and "stair", the idea that the plants will always exist, outside your dream, in that place.

the last two stanzas are disturbing in their connotations and i love that the apex of the poem is fully realized only in the last line, "leave me be."

more thoughts later, but a few suggestions for punctuation and the like:
second stanza, first line: i think a dash would fit better instead of a comma
fourth stanza: maybe use a comma between "stair" and "which" or break the line instead of ending it in the middle with a period. i felt the period interrupted the flow of the first two lines

the line breaks are all great, btw...more laterrr