The missing limbs in sleep -
a search for gauze to stifle
the wound.
On the ground floor, the first floor?
Moving down flights of old stairs
at hallway ends -
Open windows like giant frames
of white light, mouths of towers
and I think (in my sleep):
I will write a poem beginnning:
I envy those plants
hanging there, which inhabit
the stair. Which do not
have to remember this place
as a gray mirage.
You, there the whole time,
who I followed between floors.
While you watched, it all ended
the same way I was sleeping. Hand
pressed on cheek, legs bare
and scissored, and what I was saying,
asleep within that dream:
déjame, déjame:
leave me be,
leave me.
Tuesday, October 9
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1 comment:
how beautiful!
i so enjoyed reading this...it's safe to assume this is one of the dreams?
i should like to marry the fourth stanza: the rhyme between "there" and "stair", the idea that the plants will always exist, outside your dream, in that place.
the last two stanzas are disturbing in their connotations and i love that the apex of the poem is fully realized only in the last line, "leave me be."
more thoughts later, but a few suggestions for punctuation and the like:
second stanza, first line: i think a dash would fit better instead of a comma
fourth stanza: maybe use a comma between "stair" and "which" or break the line instead of ending it in the middle with a period. i felt the period interrupted the flow of the first two lines
the line breaks are all great, btw...more laterrr
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